So Humiliated

My grandpa got a hold of my story and proceeded to humiliate me by showing it to everyone in the office! Ugh I don’t know why these things always happen to me. It was something I was trying to keep low key probably because my father, god rest his soul, never really liked that I was into writing. He always saw his only son as being some kind of macho athlete and well I think I disappointed him a lot when I chose not to pursue sports after my Freshman year of high school. Now they’re all trying to print copies afraid I’m going to take it down out of sheer embarrassment, but I like my story so much I’m not willing to part with it. Everything I wrote in that story is how I’ve felt at one point in my life or another and honestly it has consumed my life like anyone with a passion for writing. My gramps said he showed it to them because he’s proud of me and while I am a little annoyed by it, it makes me happy that finally someone accepts the fact that I am not an athlete. Sure I swam on the swim team, but nothing makes me feel more at home than to sit down in front of my computer and spill all my emotions into my characters. One girl even cried, but she cries at tv commercials too so its definitely not an ego booster, but its nice that my story made some sort of impact. O.k. Yeah I sound like a nut job I’m out!

Excuse Me!?

Ok so I’ll probably get a lot of flack for writing this, but at this point I don’t really care because I am super super pissed off. My grandma came to get me and take me out to lunch no big deal. We got into the turn lane and the light is already red so what was said next was just not necessary. This black girl walked out in front of our suv and said out loud “Stop WHITE bitch.” I don’t think I’ve ever jumped out of a vehicle as fast as I did then. I almost hit her with the car door and I mean I was after her. I’m 6′2 180 lbs. and she couldn’t have been more than 5′4 maybe 100 lbs I mean this girl was skinny. If it wasn’t for my grandma literally grabbing me and pulling me back into the car I would have knocked her out. Period. Girl or not I didn’t care. I just find it ironic that while they always call white people racist it’s o.k. for them to refer to our race and call us names. Why did it matter if my grandma was white or not? I for one am not racist by any means in fact when it comes to the use of the N word I am one that loathes the word. I hate everything about it, the meaning behind it, the way it sounds, just I hate that word and I have never used it. Today has made me less sympathetic towards most blacks, not all. We can’t hold an entire race accountable for a few ignorant assholes. Than some of them wonder why white people come up with such stereo-types well um hello! But like I said we can’t hold it against an entire race. I have friends who are black and they are all amazing wonderful people. It does, however, make me remember what Jarrell said to me once he said that blacks are way more racist than whites and this is coming from someone of their own race. Of course I’m sure a good majority of them will say he’s just trying to be white, but he is very proud to be black as he should be. People need to just wake up and stop whining about racism when they’re not really doing much themselves to fix it. Ok I’m done my rant I’m going to focus my attention on my Whopper it’s calling my name.

Something Amazing

I’m typing this on my iPod so bear with me. Lots of exciting things happened today. My little “sisters” were born which is bittersweet in the sense that we’re adopting them. Their mother wants nothing to do with them and she actually just up and walked out of the hospital just leaving them there. My grandma is with them now and despite the amount of drugs their mother ingested into her system they’re both healthy for the most part. Harper is the biggest weighing in at 5 lbs. 14 oz. and Emma is 5 lbs. even, but she’s having some trouble breathing so she’s in the N.I.C.U. They should me coming home in a few days. Technically they’re my adopted nieces but who cares. After I finished visiting I went home and there was a message on the answering machine from my friend asking if I could shoot some pictures of her this weekend in the French Quarter. I’m super stoked that she liked my photography enough that she’d personally call to ask. Right now I shoot with a Canon Rebel XT which is not top of the line but I love it. Speaking of love have I mentioned Cerena? Ah she’s just wonderful and I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone as much as her. She gives me butterflies. Today was just perfect to sum it up. I’m absolutely loving life today!